So I thought I’d do something a bit different today and do another tag, what’s different is the theme.
As many of you know, I’m an active debater and in debating we spend a lot of time discussing issues that relate to gender. So yeah, why not?
This is a tag that’s been floating around youtube for a while and I must confess I don’t know who the original creator is.
The Gender Tag Prompts
1. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you?
I identify as female, but I can’t really say it means much to me. I was an absolute tomboy growing up and have since then moved almost to the opposite side of the spectrum and would probably be seen as extremely feminine in regards to gender expression. It’s something I just happen to be and there’s no doubt that I am female, but I can’t say I find my gender… interesting or anything.
2. What pronouns honor you?
She, her, madam Speaker.
3. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.
My style is pretty much dictated by my body shape, which is something I’m not always happy about. Somewhere along the line, my body decided to go full on hourglass and I didn’t really have that much of a say in it. I mostly wear dresses for convenience reasons (no need to match garments or even bother struggling getting into multiple pieces) and because they look better on me than other clothes do. I’m not really a fan of loud patterns or a lot of accessories. My day to day style is pretty much ‘grab the nearest dress and jump into it’, but I do put more care into my appearance when I have the time. Pretty much anyone who knows me knows I am not a morning person and before I’ve had coffee I don’t really care about anything, especially not my appearance.
4. Talk about your choices with body hair. How do you style your hair? Do you have facial hair? What do you choose to shave, or choose not to shave?
I usually just wear my hair down, in a pony tail, or a bun. I’ve had a lot of hair styles and colours throughout the years and I’m not afraid to try new things but I really can’t be bothered styling it every day. No facial hair. Not a fan of body hair in general but I’m not the “omg I didn’t shave my legs today, I can’t leave the house” kind of person.
5. Talk about cosmetics. Do you choose to wear makeup? Do you paint your nails? What types of soaps and perfumes do you use if any?
I wear makeup most days but it’s never something I feel obliged to do. You’ll almost always see me wearing at least foundation but that’s because it’s also my SPF and takes two seconds to apply, it’s a bit like brushing your teeth. On days when I have time and feel like it, I really enjoy playing around with makeup. I mean, I’ve painted my face blue on here more than once ffs. I almost always have painted nails but if I’m really stressed I just don’t feel like it. I think I own two perfumes and almost never use them, I just feel the scent is way too overpowering most times. Obviously, I use soap like everyone should. Most of my bath products smell like coffee or chocolate. In general, if something smells like coffee I consider it a winner.
6. Have you experienced being misgendered? If so, how often?
I sometimes did when I was younger but haven’t for at least a decade. I don’t think I could pass for male even if I tried to.
7. Do you experience dysphoria? How does that affect you?
Nope, I don’t. The closest I’ve gotten is being extremely uncomfortable with the label ‘girl’ and everything that girls are supposed to like. But not actual dysphoria.
8. Talk about children. Are you interested in having children? Would you want to carry a child if that were an option for you? Do you want to be the primary caretaker for any children you may have?
Moving on to social policy, I see. The thing is, I can’t stand children until they’re starting to become somewhat coherent. Babies are scary and messy and all sorts of weird. I’m on the fence about having children at all given that I know exactly the kind of damage that you as a parent can cause another person. I guess it would depend on things like being in a stable relationship, having the means and time to support a family… I honestly don’t know but I’m certainly not planning any at the moment. Pregnancy scares me a fair bit. Why? Because of Alien. I’m not fond of the idea of a primary caretaker. I firmly believe that all available parents should be equally invested in their child. In regards to parental leave, that would depend on the situation I guess.
9. Talk about money. Is it important to you to provide for a family financially if you choose to have one? Is it important to you that you earn more than any partner you may have? Do you prefer to pay for things like dates? Are you uncomfortable when others pay for you or offer to pay for you?
Hm… Yes and no. If I am to have a family I’d want to have one in the position of not having to worry too much about our financial situation. Like, I don’t care about having a lavish lifestyle or things like that but I wouldn’t want to have a family if I didn’t know how we’d pay rent every day.
I don’t really care about earnings, but I wouldn’t be comfortable with someone who wasn’t contributing at all. I’ve been raised to see the work you do as more important than the salary itself. Work and… striving for something is what I truly value, which is why I’d never want to be a housewife or have someone provide for me in the long term. It is actually a turn off for me when people think they can impress me by throwing money at me, all that does is show me that this person really can’t handle their wealth. There’s a difference between appreciating the finer things in life and being vulgar.
When it comes to dates and social interactions in general, I don’t really care. I’m usually happy to pay as long as I can afford it at the time. Giving gifts to friends and people I care about is something that gives me great joy (blame my grandmother for this). Again, as long as one person doesn’t leech off the other, I’m fine. If it goes too far one way or the other, that’s when I start becoming uncomfortable.
10. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?
I hate “yes, all women” and shit like that. You don’t get to use me and my identity for you political purposes. The fact that we’re of the same sex/gender does not mean you get to be my spokesperson. Ever.