Makeup Shopping Struggles

Although it’s a fun hobby, it is not without its struggles. Yes, sometimes this blog talks about serious stuff and sometimes it features silly lists.

  • wpid-20150815_111530.jpgDeciding which of the many Priceline’s, few Meccas, or barely there Sephora stores to visit. Or if you should take a risk with a department store.
  • Oooh a new really cool limited edition palette? Would be a shame if it sold out within minutes…
  • Testers will inevitably be smeared all over, especially if you’re looking at lipsticks.
  • The area that holds the testers will not be cleaned anywhere near often enough.
  • Elusive makeup wipes tend to hide in the centre of the store or be locked in a drawer. Asking staff for them is always awkward, so chances are you’ll be walking around with swatches on the back of your hand for quite a while.
  • Salespersons show up when you don’t need them and go missing when you do need them.
  • Someone trying to sell you an eyeshadow with the argument “it’s gluten free”. Gluten is only harmful for coeliacs who eat it. I don’t know what annoys me the most, that they assume that I don’t know how gluten works, or that they assume I might eat eyeshadow.
  • Inevitably forgetting the name of the shade you intended to buy. The solution is naturally either to buy a few different ones or stand there trying to remember the name. You most likely end up quietly listing the names of Santa’s Reindeers under your breath.
  • Trying to decide if you really do need another lipstick.
  • Feeling judged when you aren’t into a current trend. Matte lipsticks. Baking. Eyebrow products… The reaction you get tends to be the same as if you’d said there’s four Tuesdays in a week.
  • Quietly hoping no one judges the slightly patchy foundation you put on in a rush this morning.
  • Trying to find a matching foundation.
  • Looking at contouring charts and thinking “hell, I don’t even know if my face is round or square”.
  • Trying to fool yourself into thinking that you “save money” on sales after you’ve bought products you’ll probably never use.
  • If you go into the store to buy one single product, you bet it will be out of stock.
  • Yes, of course I have a loyalty card. Somewhere.
  • Overindulging in Soap & Glory purchases at Mecca because it’s one of the cheaper brands and oh so good. And there went 200 dollars.
  • Failing to estimate if you’ll buy enough products to need a basket at all. If you go “yeah nah, I’ll be fine”, you won’t be fine. You should have grabbed a basket.
  • The products on sale are brilliant, but never in a shade that matches you.
  • If it’s a special event, there will be hoards of people. They’ll grab anything they might have the tiniest interest in, sit down in the aisle and sort everything they grabbed. The things they don’t want will be discarded in random places. You’re wondering if you should join them or try to keep your dignity.
  • “This will be the last time I buy new makeup for at least six months!”. Try three weeks.
  • Suddenly wondering how far away your next pay day is.

The Second Darkest Moments

When people write about mental health issues, they tend to write about the recovery. Overcoming the Obstacle. Informative with a side of inspiration porn. This isn’t one of those posts.

This post is about the things we normally don’t talk about. The moments when you’re wondering if it’s truly worth it. If you should keep fighting. The times when we don’t reach out.

I’ve often thought about how I’d describe having PTSD to someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of misconceptions about it, especially how it is portrayed in popular culture, so many that I myself failed to pick up on what it was I actually had. It’s not full on hallucinations, at least not for me. It’s more like an echo.

Ever heard that piercing sound that happens when a microphone and speaker become too friendly? The sound that cuts through you and that you try to brace yourself for? Imagine that, but someone shouting weird fragments of the worst moments of your life into that microphone. That’s more what my flashbacks are like. Those sounds seem to come from my bones, not necessarily my brain. Just like really intense sounds, it’s both a physical and mental sensation. It’s overwhelming, very difficult to hide (I literally brace myself against it, you can see it in my jaw), and can come out of seemingly nowhere.

I don’t have those often, but I have nightmares. Multiple times per week. I remember them upon waking perhaps 50 percent of the time. Sometimes I just wake up with my heart racing and a lump in my throat. I’ve been an insomniac since the age of 1 at least. I’ve lived most of my life sleep deprived. Try sleeping three hours per night for a month.It gets to you, quickly.


Yet these aren’t the worst moments. My worst moments typically happen when there’s no one around. After the lack of sleep. After the weird air raid siren thing has caused issues again. But especially after I’ve lost something that made me happy. I guard the things that make me happy very carefully and don’t tend to speak of them. It’s a way to protect it/them, the idea that if no-one knows about your happiness then they can’t take it from you. Sadly it’s not foolproof. I must have a sign on my forehead that says “treat me like shit” considering the liberties people take against me.

Those are my darkest moments. When you no longer have things to fight for. When you’re not just worried about losing the battle, but when you realise that you don’t even know why you’re still in this battle. When you believe those echoes were whispering the truth. When you begin to believe every single hurtful, rude, or abusive thing you’ve ever heard.

This is the point of the post typically reserved for preppy positive thoughts and coping mechanisms. But the thing is, there’s no inspirational quote that helps. No cure. You just have to wait it out.

Review: NYX’s Butter Lipstick

Brand: NYX
Product: Butter Lipstick
Shade: Big Cherry
Available: Target
Price: 11.95 AUD

First Impression: This thing is pigmented, really really pigmented. It’s also creamy but doesn’t feel heavy or oily on the lips. I’ve worn this a few times by now and I’m really happy with it. You’ll get a good 6-8 hours of wear out of this product and when it does fade, it fades evenly. It’s quite resistant to staining and easily survives coffee and a meal. Overall, it’s a really impressive lipstick.

Packaging: Lightweight plastic. Looks alright. Doesn’t fall apart in your bag. Gets the job done but won’t win any design awards.

Pros: High quality. Good price. Actually pigmented and long lasting. It’s really hard to find good drugstore reds, but this one is probably in my top 5 lipsticks at the moment. Also, NYX is cruelty free, which is always a bonus.

Cons: Not available from Target’s website, so you’ll need to buy it in store.

Would I purchase this again? Yup