Yup, straight up stealing from Family Guy.
- “Nukular” – it’s nuclear. Nu-clear. And no, it’s not a matter of ‘accent’. You’re pronouncing the bloody word wrong. I bet you also say expresso.
- Referring to adults as ‘boys’ or ‘girls’ – well at least you’re being honest about being a big man-child. Grow the fuck up. I’m closer to 30 than I am to my teenage years, I’m not a little girl, kindly don’t equate me to a child.
- “Are you REALLY gluten free?” – I was diagnosed in my late teens after a biopsy and would give anything for a real bowl of pasta. I don’t have to make shit up to feel special and I don’t know why people do lie about this. And no, a gluten free diet won’t benefit you unless there’s a real actual medical reason you need to eliminate it from your diet. And if you put gluten in my food because you think I’m ‘faking it’, then firstly, fuck you. Secondly, it’s not a nut allergy – I’m not going to choke to death. I will have severe stomach issues a few hours later and a fucked up immune system for six months.
- People who look down on swearing – fuck off.
- People who haven’t read my research or researched any similar topics/fields trying to explain my own research at me – Darling, your hypothesis didn’t hold up against even minimal testing, that’s why it’s not in the conclusion. Come back when you’ve ACTUALLY done research beyond looking at your own opinions. The theory isn’t flawed or wrong just because it’s not what you wanted it to be.
- “You can’t loose weight through exercise unless you go on a diet” – Twice in my life I’ve lost decent amounts of weight through exercise while barely changing my diet. You just have to do a lot of it. Typically this is said by people who are trying to lose weight but aren’t succeeding. Go rain on someone else’s parade.
- “What’s it like to be a woman in geek culture/academia/politics/literally anywhere?” – What exactly are you expecting me to compare it to? My secret life as a dog in which I’ve also tried all these things? Fuck do I know, I’m not a token woman who experiences all womanly things and speak for all women. I’m me, I can tell you a lot about what it’s like to be me. You know, the actual person you’re talking to. I don’t get any secret memos on What It Is Like To Be Female In This Field.
- If you show cleavage you are trying to find a man – I’m showing cleavage because the outfit I picked that day showed cleavage. My process of clothing selection typically goes: find something somewhat clean, make sure it matches the weather, check if you’re doing anything that day requiring specific clothing, pick the remaining option you like the most. You, or any random men for that matter, are not even in my mind when I pick what to wear.
- Women who grab other women’s boobs – you’re not excused from committing sexual assault because you’re the same gender as the person you’re grabbing. You’re not entitled to groping people regardless of which gender you are. Consent still bloody matters. Have the courtesy to at least ask for permission.
- People who don’t indicate.
- “Why are you so quiet?” – Because I don’t have anything to say right now.
- “Why do you talk so much?” – Because I have something to say right now.
- “Clean” eating – people aren’t dirty or eating dirty because they have a burger now and then. You are not cleaner or more pure than they are.
- Elastane – I’m allergic to it. Can’t wear it. Same thing with lycra/spandex….
- Early access games – I really just like buying finished products
- “Your tattoos won’t look good when you’re older” – nor will your un-inked skin. Skin ages, regardless of if it has tattoos or not.